You achieve something important, receive a compliment or pass a test you were worried about, and instead of joy an uncomfortable feeling appears: the sense that you don't really deserve it, that it was a matter of luck and that, sooner or later, someone will discover that you're not as capable as you seem. If you recognise yourself in this description, you're not alone: it's a very common experience, usually known as impostor syndrome.
Although the name includes the word syndrome, it is not a mental disorder or a clinical diagnosis. It is a pattern of thinking and emotional experience that many people go through at some point in their lives, especially when they take on new challenges or enter demanding environments. Understanding it well is the first step towards no longer suffering it in silence.
What impostor syndrome is
Impostor syndrome describes the difficulty of taking credit for one's own achievements. The person who experiences it tends to explain their successes through external factors (luck, the help of others, a mistake by those who value them) instead of acknowledging their effort, their preparation or their talent. Inside, a contradiction coexists: the objective facts say that a good job has been done, but the internal feeling insists that it's a fraud about to be exposed.
This phenomenon was first described in the late 1970s and, ever since, research has shown that it can affect anyone, regardless of age, profession or level of competence. In fact, it tends to appear most strongly precisely in those who are responsible, self-demanding and care about doing things well.
How it feels on the inside
Impostor syndrome doesn't always show up in the same way, but there are signs that come up frequently. Recognising them helps to put a name to something we often experience in a confusing way:
- Attributing successes to luck, to chance or to the generosity of others, rather than to one's own merit.
- Feeling a persistent fear of being found out as someone who doesn't measure up.
- Playing down praise or thinking that whoever offers it has got it wrong.
- Constantly comparing yourself to other people and always coming off worse in that comparison.
- Demanding of yourself a perfection that is never quite reached, so that nothing seems enough.
- Working too hard to make up for a supposed lack of worth, with the resulting exhaustion.
These experiences are usually accompanied by anxiety, tension before taking on responsibilities and a complicated relationship with rest, because stopping can feel like letting your guard down.
Why it appears
There is no single cause. Impostor syndrome is the result of a combination of personal, family and social factors that intertwine throughout life.
Personal history
Its roots are often found in childhood and in the messages we internalised about what it means to be worthy. Growing up in an environment where affection seemed to depend on achievements, where you were compared with siblings or classmates, or where effort was almost never enough, can leave behind the idea that we are only acceptable when we perform at our best.
Self-demand and perfectionism
Someone who sets the bar very high lives in constant tension between what they do and what they believe they should do. Since the ideal is unreachable, any real result falls short, and that gap is interpreted as proof of inadequacy rather than as something deeply human.
The social context
We live surrounded by images of success that seem effortless. Social media shows polished results, but rarely the stumbles, the doubts or the work behind them. In addition, those who belong to groups that are underrepresented in a given environment may feel added pressure to prove that they deserve to be there, which fuels the feeling of being an impostor.
The self-reinforcing cycle
One of the reasons this pattern is so hard to break is that it sustains itself. Faced with a challenge, doubt about one's own ability appears. To ease that doubt, the person responds in one of two ways: over-preparing or putting off the task out of fear. If it eventually goes well, they don't attribute the success to their worth, but to excessive effort or to luck. And if it goes so-so, they experience it as confirmation that they really weren't capable.
In this way, the good result never serves to strengthen confidence, because it is always explained by something external. The achievement passes by without leaving a positive mark, and the underlying belief remains intact, ready to be triggered at the next challenge.
What you can start doing
The good news is that this way of experiencing yourself is neither fixed nor permanent. With awareness and practice it is possible to gradually loosen its grip. Here are some keys that can help you take the first steps:
- Put a name to what you feel. Recognising that you're going through impostor syndrome already reduces part of its power, because it stops being an absolute truth and becomes an observable thought.
- Keep a record of your achievements and the part you played in them. Noting down what you specifically did helps to give the credit back to whoever it belongs to: you.
- Gently question the critical voice. When faced with the idea that it was luck, ask yourself what you would say to a loved one in your same situation.
- Talk about it. Sharing it with someone you trust often reveals that many admired people feel the same way, which breaks the isolation.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes as part of learning. Getting it wrong doesn't disqualify you; it's part of the process for anyone who dares to grow.
When to seek professional help
Sometimes these steps help, but the feeling of not deserving your own achievements remains very present and starts to limit your wellbeing. It may show up as anxiety, as difficulty enjoying things, as exhaustion from working without rest, or as turning down opportunities out of fear of not being good enough. When this happens, seeking support is not a sign of weakness, but a caring way of treating yourself well.
In therapy it is possible to explore where that belief comes from, to understand how it sustains itself and to learn to build a kinder, more realistic relationship with yourself. It's not about convincing you that you're perfect, but about being able to recognise your worth without needing to prove it continually, and about your achievements finally ceasing to feel like they belong to someone else.
If something you've read here resonates with you, at ER Psicología Sanitaria we would be delighted to accompany you. A first session is a calm, non-judgemental space in which to begin looking at all of this gently and at your own pace. Taking that step already says a great deal about the capable person you are.
